First time tears drop show in front of patient..

Today, 5/8/2010, in the morning...
Me, Looi Yoong, Elizabeth and Ding meet a patient who had nose aid for 8 years.
He just undergone a surgery yesterday, when he sneeze out the phlegm all was blood. When I saw him such in pain, I was so sad and wander how he overcome this 8 years.
He told his story when he was teenager, He learned Kung Fu and Karate. He love swimming so much. but he keep on say all already pass.
When he talk about his sickness, and Looi Yoong father's had just passed away also had the same sickness with this uncle- Nose Aid. When Looi Yoong talk about his father, her tears drop. I understand how Looi yoong felt, and my tears drop too. Uncle saw Looi Yoong tears and His tears drops too. He tell us:" Now we are young, must take care of ourself, health is more important than anything. If have time, go travel around the world, enjoy the beautiful nature of our world." He told us. even though he has this sickness, he stilled do things he want to do. He went for diving in Bali, normally won't dare to dive if they have nose problem, but he did not fear. He just want to do the things he long for. I was touch and felt the pain in him. He did 102 times of chemo for his nose, until one year impaired. How sad it is, but he did not fall just because of his sickness. Yet he stilled stand strong and encourage us with full of strength.

We tried to talk to him about the Love of God, but in Him every religion is the same. I have the urge to tell him about Jesus, yet I don't have enough strength to tell Him. This is my first time start to ask people do you know bout Jesus? yet His answer give him a confirmed, but in my prayer, I hope one day there's a person step into his life and tell him about the Love of God.
Although I'm tired and unhappy during clinical posting, but because the strength and Love of God motivates me, I can't do on my own.

Yesterday night, I lead a small devotion with Looi Yoong and Elizabeth. God really speaks to us with word of God. He spoke to us in such miracle. We read Psalms 27... I think everyone should read this whenever you felt tired, unhappy, frustrated, doubt... three of us cried out and ask God for forgiveness because all these day we did not seek him, now we understand what God trying to tell us. I praise God that Holy spirit i guiding us and speaking to us. I'm grateful I still able to stand up once again and have faith in Him, My Lord...

all Glory and power to Him. Amen!

Last day in 6A ward for 3rd week...no more with Ms Parames

Friday, 23/7/10 is our last day to be in 6A ward serving... I felt sad and will gonna miss the ward staff nurses and patient in A ward. I don't know, I felt 6A ward patient always kind and friendly... I thank God for giving the opportunities to have interact with them, although we may not meet each other again, yet the nurse and patient relationship for me is so much important and precious..

Well, today I get to do toilet bath for the 'po po' that we know each other well. HEr husband always felt very happy and grateful when I have the free time and just come over and see them and chit chat with them. Po po so skinny because so many days she didn't eat anything, she just eat 1 or 2 bite of bread that's all, water intake also little... She keep on telling me, all her fat already gone just left the skin.. When I heard this it make me want to encourage and motivate her in the sense of her health. also, I make one patient who are 17 years old, me and him talk for half an hour, nice chating with him, it make me feel release and not so stress. At least there is someone to talk with and listen.. He enjoy listening my story and was happy that there is someone talk with, because, you know a, staying in the hospital is so DAMN boring ma.... I was will bored till become "vegetable" lo..

In additional, got one " gong gong" also discharge, he was so happy and keep on smiling and waiting the time come to be home.. this gong gong very cute, if you see his smile, you will be happy the whole time, no sorrow, coz his smile is adorable... and one more, got one African patient with the family member, they were so funny and adorable too... I often visit them, and become good friend with them. When me, Ding, looi yoong and Elizabeth say good bye to them, they were so grateful, and we say to each other" i love you" and give good bye kiss, and we speak so happily but our voice so loud until staff nurse tell us to be quiet, hoho^^ this is the experience and memorable moment to be kept now and future...

Lastly, today is our last day with Ms Parames working together, kinda miss and having great time learning from her, although sometime I felt so nagging from her, and get irritated... She is a person who want to be perfect in out profession care job, indeed I learned how to give a profession care, yet need to be imporved and keep on learning... Is not an easy task to be a nurse, and everyday is learning and always there are many new things to know and learn every seconds,minute and moment... Yes, I may felt tired and want to just lie on the bed and sleep for the whole day, but the motivation that teacher gave me moves me to continue... We gave her a bottle of grape wine, and this coming MOnday we are going to give her our photo memory, that will be more valuable to be kept as a fun memory together with us...
I love my group and my clinical intructor, I thank you all of them to be as a team and work out together..All glory to God... Amen!

Clinical posting in Sunway medical centre

A blink of an eye, already past three weeks… I stilled remember the very 1st day of my clinical posting in Sun-Med. I can say Sun-Med hospital just like hotel, look so high class and there is no hospital strong smelly smell that I always expected and dislike. Surprisingly, Sun-Med make me feel nice and comfortable.

1^st day of clinical posting, we have orientation in the hospital, we have to know which floor have what ward, where is the cafeteria & many more. I was nervous at that particular moment because we have to start to help real patient instead of mannequin in the school mock ward. I was so excited and full of curious, wondering what I will be throughout this 8weeks in the hospital. I remember, I build rapport with one patient have just done operation. Me and Dianne do bed bath for the patient, both of us kinda kelam-kabut because we don’t know patient got their shampoo, basin, small towel, so kind of mess up. But praise God, our patient is a understanding and kind patient, knowing we are student nurse for Sem 1 and don’t mind us doing bed bath for her.

Not only doing bed bath, every morning after taking one hour report we have to go every patient and change their bed sheet, ask them whether have they brush their teeth, want to bath or not, got drink water or not…. So many things to care of, somehow I think if I care for my parents such concern way, I think my parents will be super happy… Well, we learn how to measure urine, charting, communicate with patient and make friends with them… and I did make friends with them and they appreciate what we have done for them.

You know, the best and happiest thing is, when you see your patient discharge from the hospital, the sense of joy for them is indescribable. appHappy for them that they finally can go back home and have a wonderful time spending with their families… No matter how difficult serving them in any situation, but knowing them getting well all is worthy.. Or even though I know that some of them can’t continue their life, yet we still put on hope and continue care and give the best concern and interest on them so patient will feel not alone and happy.

Being a nurse is not an easy task, no short cut when doing any procedure or care given to the patient. We have to always think critical and patient-centred.. We may feel restless and somehow weak, yet somehow there is a motivation keep pushing us keep on going, never give up. If we give up, who is going to take care of the patient?? Are you going to do it? What is the risk will be if we don’t provide just simple care.. It will cause a lot of unwanted and unexpected sickness and harmful… So, I’m grateful and full with appreciative in this nursing line, everyone of us is special, valuable, unique and loved. No matter who you are, how sick you are, in God’s eyes, you always are His sons and daughters… God love you and me~~~ Namaste…^^

Holiday~~

Aiyaya, why time passes so fast... I have so many things to do, yet don't know what to do first. I want to go shopping, cut my hair like bushes, go Sunway Lagoon, chit chat with my friends, practice dancing for performance,spend time with my Dear, spend time with my family, Go out with my Sister Liza,...and many many more... but i reflect myself, did I really spend time with God? We may have dozen things to do, but do we really put God in our life. I found myself not like last time that enthusiastic in God's word and serving. The relationship God is indeed getting far away apart...

I wanted to shared my testimony to you all.

God did not leave me even though how bad, how worse am I, yet The lord sees me perfect in his eyes sight. God still taking of care, although I did not put Him in my central of my life. I was surprise and happy because my exam marks that I expected was not that high, because I know my standard is worst than that. But God listen my every single prayer and provide me wisdom and strength to go through every single things in my Uni life. He does not see the bad side of me, yet He choose to Love me even more and more. Ask yourself, will you love a person that is very very bad, have record in jail, or murder a person before? I bet you won't even go closer to that person.

Only God, He choose to love them, no matter how bad they are. Is not our love that are great, yet the Love from God is greater than anything. He's the one who created us and love us first, we do not deserved His precious gift in Heaven and love. Lastly, I want to tell everyone of you, spend some time for God..Meditate yourself with God, read his word, and you will received...

For those who are not Christian, I'm not condemning about your believe, but is time to think, The God who are real and always be with you.... God love you... have a nice day...

Finally can have some rest and have time for myself reading books..

This whole week is my Nursing exam, such a restless week man~

Exam:

Tuesday, Principle of Nursing

Wednesday, English for nurses

Thursday, Psychology

Friday, Anatomy

I don't even have a good sleep at all, my whole body is tired, brain not in good functioning, can't even think of other things, yet I still have to overcome all these exam. I keep telling myself, Mary Ann you can, don't give up! God did not give up on me and yet you give up easily because of these exam and have negative thoughts, is this really a right attitude to face the problem. Wow, when this thought came to my mind, I know is the holy spirit who speaks to me, I quickly set my mind and pray to God for Strength, if not I can't do it on my own.

And not only exam that bothers me, also some issue with friend in the class, oh well, until now I still can't figure out what's the problem between us. I think hardly and tears for many many times, and yet can't have any idea what's is going wrong???? okay, we did talk to each already, and this is good sign. But i don't understand why she tell lies to me and other people? Does she need to do that? I can't understand at all, what is she thinking? If I really did something wrong, you can tell me, or maybe I just go straight to her face and ask her what is the problem and tell her I'm sorry if I did hurt her or make unhappy...

Okay, other thing is, I have to move from 22nd floor of my hostel to 6th floor, due to the Sunway hostel management. Ma fan la, this time my room smaller than the previous room. Oh my goodness..... But never mind, what can I do, bear with the management of Sunway ya.. This time I'm not staying with my old roommate, now is with my dear friend Ding... actually I kinda miss my old roommate, already use to it with her... Never mind, now I stay with Dianne, Joe yi, Xin yi, Jia Yen,Hui Lin, Electra, and Ding.. My hostel life will be full of happiness..Haha, because all my housemate is funny and joyful..haha... May God be with us and guide s in our Nursing journey...All Glory to Him...

And lastly, I wanted to Thank God for His wisdom that provide to me. I get good marks in nursing exam, and I can't really believe that I actually can get such good marks.. I really want to praise God and my faith in Him never stop! He is everything, King of Kings, Lord of Lords... I love You Jesus! MUackss.. Have a happy holiday(to me), wakaka^^

should I feel Disappointed or not?

I don really like this feeling and I hardly have this disappoint feeling.
We are friends at the first day of orientation, I go towards her to know her because I saw her sitting alone behind me, so I invited her to sat beside with me, and that time Sarah haven't reach yet. So we have know each other for one month plus, yet slowly I don't really understand what she's doing at all?! Sometime act like this sometime like that. aiyo~~~ Fan ar... I can tell she is a nice girl, just not yet grown up, so I always tell myself not to judge her in that sense, because is not fair anyway. I also have this problem before when I was in secondary school, until I went for National Service and study nursing course improve me a lot in many ways. I just hope one day I can tell her my feelings if not I will burst, but I don't have the guts to tell her. Even I have hard time to tell my BF my inner feelings. For all this year, I don't really tell my true feelings out, people can say I'm a happy and cheerful girl, yet deep inside hinder many unknown feelings. Only one Whom I trust is God, because He's the one only know my inner feeling more than any other people. I pray that god show me the way and provide me guidance, to become nurse must to build up critical thinking and making decision on the spot, I don't even have the confidence in this area. I know I have weakness in this areas. Aiyaya~~

Finally, a great accomplishment had done...Nurses day celebration

phew, before the celebration, I'm in-charge for my class performance. One is singing and the other is dancing. Well, is really a tired task for me, because I have to focus on this two performance and kinda stress out myself. I cried couple of times, just to let myself released, and then continue my work. To tell the truth, I kinda disappointed for few times, class not cooperative, Monitor din't coordinate the class, but somehow some of my friends understand me and willing to stand out and help me, so I won't stress out myself and felt tired. I do felt tired, sometime I doubt myself, whether I really is a good leader or not? Can I continue to take all this load of work. Yet I told myself:" Mary! You can! Because God is our refuge and strength. And Serving for my class team, is also serving God as well, How can I just think of myself, so selfish!" But still, sometimes I still felt stress and cry again..haha..So, my friends use to say i'm super woman, but i'm not...haha...

On the 7th MAy 2010, Is our nurses day celebration, all of us a freaking nervous, although I look calm, but am NOT! We did our rehearsal, everything goes well...I help them to warm up their voice so that they van sing louder and use stomach to sing...haha...

Okay, Angie and Nic attend our celebration as a support for me and Sarah..both of them really get along very well... I'm grateful to know Angie and be as my friend, so called" jie jie"...She told me alot of stuff that she has been through, I appreciate that...Okay, back to the title. Then, celebration starts at 3pm, kinda late for half an hour because wait for the VIP lo.... aiyaya, MALYSIA BOLEH LA! So our singing performance is the first one, and the singing did well, hooray! our dancing performance went well too, everything was just nice and good, teachers also praise us how much effort we put in it...Praise God! yeah...At last is photo time, Oh I Love It!okay, that's all....